Candy Man
by Veemo-er
Summary: Coulee and Jenna visit Lucifer on a matter that would be considered important to fictional cephalopod people


Candy Man

"Come….on!"  
"LET ME GO LET ME GO!"  
Residents of floor 6 of Shallow Apartments were opening their doors and peeking out into the hall, for an interesting sight was taking place. An Octoling was dragging another one by her grape tee down the hall, while the other was swinging her arms at the air, as if that was going to make a difference. This was Coulee and Jenna, and the former wanted to see a friend of his for a somewhat important reason, while the latter….did not share the same mindset.

"He's not gonna bite! He's…..friendly! And why are you so….heavy?!" Coulee grunted, continuing to drag his friend by the back of her shirt.

"**I AM NOT HEAVY AND LET ME GO! WHAT IF HE REPORTS US OR SOMETHING?!"**  
Coulee was about to respond, when he heard a familiar voice down the hall.  
"Coulee?"

The Octolings looked at where the voice came from, and saw another one of their kind peeking at them from his room. Only his head, red eyes and Pilot Goggles could be seen. He sheepishly waved at them, and while Coulee waved back tiredly, Jenna covered her face with her House-Tag Denim Cap. He then gestured for them to come in, which led to Jenna freaking out again, and Coulee asking for some help.

Once the two were finally inside, they then noticed that an Inkling was seated on the couch, with a soda can in her hands. She had long tentacles, orange eyes, and also sported Pilot Goggles.  
"So Coulee, who's your friend?" The other Octoling asked, after taking his shoes off.  
"Well this right here is Jenna. She may be very very shy, but she can whoop butt with her Sorella Brella." Coulee responded.

"Well, certainly nice to meet you Jenna. Name's Lucifer." He held his hand out for her, which she nervously shook.  
"Um….y-you two. S-sorry about the screaming earlier…" She quietly said, while putting her hands into her pockets and looking down.  
"Heh, you should see my sister when she meets new people." Lucifer jokingly said.

"So why don't we have a seat?" The three of them then joined the mysterious Inkling on the couch.

"Should probably mention her. This is Novu."  
"Hi there."

"H-hello…."  
But Novu didn't say anything back to them. She just took a sip of her soda, and gave them a nod. An awkward silence filled the room for a couple seconds, until Lucifer chose to break it.

"Soooooo what brings you guys here?"

Jenna suddenly groaned to herself, brought her legs up onto the couch, and curled into a ball. Lucifer couldn't help but frown at this in confusion.

"Well...you see Luce, Jenna and I have a bit of a problem on our hands. Something that we feel like you could help us out with."  
"Go on." He said supportingly. Coulee cleared his throat, as he began to explain what happened.

"So we had plans to go to the oyster theater to see the new "Harpooners" film. Now since it was three hours long, and since the snacks at the theater are a complete rip, we decided to take a risk, and sneak our own in-"  
"It was so dumb it was so dumb it was so-"  
"Jenna, it's in the past. Please let me continue."  
"Right….sorry…."  
"Anyway, we decided to hide our snacks between my blue hoodie and shirt. It went pretty well until the tape gave way, and everything fell out, which was...well-"  
"Incredibly humiliating?" Novu suddenly said in a monotone voice, before taking another sip of her soda.  
"...yeah, incredibly humiliating…." Coulee glanced at the Inkling confusingly, before continuing.  
"The staff banned us for a week, and said that if we were caught sneaking in anything again, we'd be banned for life."  
"I can't be banned for life! But I can't pay 80 cash for a stinking chocolate bar!" Jenna suddenly cried, before curling up again.

"Yeah, that's our problem Luce. To be honest, I don't know why we didn't come to you in the first place."

"You should've." Novu stated, before taking out a picture from seemingly out of nowhere. It was a mugshot of Lucifer, taken by another movie theater, with text written at the bottom.

Reason for Ban: Sneaking in food

Length of Ban: Indefinite

Number of past felonies: 3

Lucifer's eyes widened at the picture, while Coulee and Jenna simply look surprised.

"How….how did you…."

"Magicians never reveal their secrets." Novu then put the picture away, before peeking into the can, to see if there was anything left.

"Um….anyway, since you two know about my capabilities, I'm sure you also know that you're gonna have to pay with something. Something….innocent…."

"Oh no I told you! He runs a crime gang, and he wants us to get a tattoo or-or something-"  
"Whoa I'm kidding I'm kidding! I'll do it for free Jenna!" Lucifer put his hands up in reassurance, and he couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Oh." Jenna sat back down, and gestured for him to continue.

"I'll help you guys get in as many snacks as you want, whenever you want. I have ties with a lot of movie-goers and staff members who aren't tempted by raises from their bosses, who want them to spill the beans. Just text me about whatever you want, and I'll get it done!"

Coulee and Jenna couldn't believe it. Since when is a practical ruler of an underground candy-smuggling circle so kind?

"W-wow! Thanks Lucifer!" said Jenna excitedly.

"Yeah, thanks man!" Coulee held out his fist, which Lucifer bumped with no hesitation.

After exchanging numbers, Coulee and Jenna said their goodbyes and thanks to Lucifer again. He then turned back to Novu, who had been watching everything in silence.

"Well, what do you think of them?" He asked his silent friend. She thought about the question for a sec, before shrugging and saying, "At least they're not the bad type of annoying." She then chucked her empty can across the apartment, before hitting the rim of the trash can, and hitting the ground.

"Get that please." She lazily said before pulling out her phone.

Lucifer could do nothing but roll his red eyes.

"Do it yourself."

"Make me."


End file.
